Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize