so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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