the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I had to cum in my sink.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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