I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
