I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
