At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
