dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
