I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize