Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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