i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
