I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
