We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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