If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
