I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
