You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
