im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
