dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Couch. On fire.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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