could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
