I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
