For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just forgot I was standing up.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
