I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
