So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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