if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
