I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
