before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
