Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
