that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
