Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
