You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
