I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
