She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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