I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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