Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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