I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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