p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
