It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
