The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I cockslap morals
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
