He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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