im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
