i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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