so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
