we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
