the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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