We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize