i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
