Farmville is her only friend.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
