What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
