This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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