We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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