My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
