This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
