you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
