Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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