she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
