? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
