Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My penis needs a shock collar
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
