i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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