Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
